Today is January 1st.

Today a new decade begins.

And today marks me doing a full year of Video Game content.  I wanted to take a moment to look back at my overall progress, both in the positive and negative, and where I hope to go from here.  Be aware, there WILL BE NEGATIVE FEELINGS in here.  If you cannot handle that, then please stop reading.  It has not been a good year overall for me.

In the world of Meatspace, I lost a family member due to cancer in August.  Due to losing said family member, I had to miss the trip to Gen Con.  I have been dealing with apartment issues almost every month since June either with my toilet, my air conditioning, or leaks.  I have had several issues with my car.  My mom has been fighting cancer the entire year along with lung issues.  My day job has gotten more and more insane, and its not paying me anywhere near what my time is worth.

In the online space I have overall lost 25 patrons including my three biggest supporters.  I have lost YouTube subs overall.  I have seen a sharp decline in interaction and views on pretty much every site I run (YouTube, twitch, twitter, my website).  Although YouTube is SLOWLY starting to tick up….slightly.

Overall, things have been on a downswing both in meatspace and online.

But not everything has been bad.

I got new glasses this year, which was needed and got the news that despite being a poorly controlled Type 2 diabetic for 15 years, my eyes are ENTIRELY UNDAMAGED.  My wife has been able to work on her comic full time now (check it out here) for now, as we were able to pay our car off earlier this year.  I have made several connections in the Public Relations / Gaming world with different firms and companies that seen to enjoy what I do.  I started doing those Indie Impressions videos back in April, and have done something like 37 videos on different indie games this year (although a few are not released yet I still count them cause I made em in 2019!)

I have streamed and beaten VTM Bloodlines 1 and Hatoful Boyfriend, and started Pathfinder Kingmaker on Twitch.  I interviewed Matthew Mercer in April.  I started a Podcast and even started doing podcast versions of the indie vids.  I got a Switch.  I have started to realize that maybe, just maybe, I have something of value to offer the world and that the things I was told growing up, about being worthless and pointless, are not true.  Still working on believing that stuff though.

Not everything has been bad.

And despite the downturn in my creative work I am, honestly, happier.  I enjoy doing the videos I do.  I like playing and experimenting with these games.  I treasure the fans I have, both those who support my work through viewing or sharing it, and those who have given me financial support.  I am, overall, in a better place mentally and that means a ton to me.

And in 2020, I have very few “resolutions”.  Really, they are more like goals.

I want to find a new job, that pays better.  I want to find a new apartment that isn’t falling apartment.  And I want to keep making 1 video a week on 1 new indie game, 52 more games.  I have a huge list of games I want to cover, and I already have (At the time of writing this) 4 videos to release in January, and am already working on February 2020.

As far as Streaming, I am going to do something I have wanted to do for a while.  I am going to alternate streams now.  Pathfinder Kingmaker every other week, and on the off weeks it will be the entire Mass Effect Franchise, starting with ME1.  I am debating which to start with for the 1st Sunday in January, but they will alternate.  I want to experience the story of Shepard, start to finish, one more time.  Gonna be an Adept Female who romances Garrus by the way, as this is very important (Also gonna be Paragon because I can’t not be a nice person lol)

Goodbye 2019.  I will not miss you.  Here is hoping 2020 is better for every single one of us.

Happy New Year everyone.

A Look Back at 2019 and Looking Forward to 2020
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